[TW rape] Resist narratives of “the Good Rapist” who is absolved of guilt and who is rewarded for being forgiven. Reject discourse of “the Good Survivor” who is serene and does all the emotional labour to educate their attacker. This is not the model for transformative justice. Liv Wynter writes:
“I have my fears about the trickle down affect of this man’s success story, I can already see misogynists sharing this story with descriptions of what they believe a ‘Good Survivor’ looks like. I fear for Tom’s pedastooling by Men’s Rights Activists who believe a woman’s body is theirs to own and use as they see fit. I fear the people who will send this video to their friends who have been raped. Mostly, I fear the rapists who will be encouraged to contact their victims off the back of this video.”
What Wynter doesn’t say in her excellent article is the only reason this rapist is invited onstage and gets book deals is because he’s White. A man of colour would simply be fulfilling the stereotype of the so-called “bad hombre” if he’s Latin or an “oppressor” if he’s Muslim and there’d be calls for deportation. Otherwise he’d be the “dangerous Black man,” and White supremacists would descend upon these public appearances. Race mediates public forgiveness and rewards heaped upon rapists. See Casey Affleck, who sexually harassed multiple women, and yet just won an Oscar.