TW: rape
Kimberly Chapman has published a thoughtful post on sexual coercion. She discusses research on how men misunderstand the concept of rape. As I wrote on Kimberley’s original thread, there is a lot of social science research showing that the socialisation of sex is a big part of this problem. Men and women don’t know how to recognise rape because sexual coercion is part of the way rape culture becomes normalised.
Research on teenagers shows that girls experience sexual coercion regularly within their early relationships. They do not see this as rape and they do not understand these experiences as abnormal because they have nothing else to compare to. Heterosexual girls and boys are socialised to accept the idea that girls are the “gatekeepers” of male sexuality. Girls are put in a “no win situation” where if they don’t have sex, they risk losing their boyfriends, who pressure them into sex. At the same time, if they don’t carefully manage their sexual relationships, they will be seen as “sluts” or “too easy.” Girls and boys see that it’s a woman’s role to keep boys’ sexual desires in check; it’s their job to say no; and they buy into the myth that once sex is initiated it’s too difficult to say no (see for example this study).
At the cultural levels, rape is constructed as something that happens to women as they walk down the street at night, even though research shows that women are overwhelmingly raped and assaulted by intimate partners. Nationally representative data published by the Australian Bureau of Statistics finds that 17% of all Australian women aged over 18 have experienced sexual assault since the age of 15; this obviously does not include under-age girls. Almost 88% of these incidents involved a man that the women knew, predominantly former partners, as well as friends, colleagues and family members.
Only 14% of these women reported incidents involving a partner to the police, and only 16% reported incidents involving a stranger. The main reason for not reporting rape and sexual assault is that the women thought others would perceive the event was “too minor” and they wanted to avoid being shamed.
We need to move away from thinking that there are different “kinds” of rape, and see the connection between a culture of coercion and sexual assault.
I really enjoyed your insight on this post.
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Thanks very much Chad Haney!
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ALo
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True. 👏👏👏👏
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Soooooo much stupid
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Its natural point that RAPE ever increase by.the youth by unknowingly of SexKnowledge & they envolved in Sex & do the Rape nowadays …they should to get the SexEducation from the brginning i.e-age after of 8yrs(G) & 10(B) **
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Mason Wedel Raising awareness about sexual violence against women is essential to at least half the population. Pity this doesn’t interest you. “Silence is the best friend of impunity and it needs to be broken.” – United Nations on why boys and men should speak out against gender violence: http://www.un.org/press/en/2013/wom1949.doc.htm
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Agreed Chandra Mohan Sharma, sex education should definitely cover issues of consent and sexual violence.
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Feminism is for everybody Spoofy Skeletons http://www.amazon.com/Feminism-Everybody-bell-hooks/dp/0745317332
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Where were you when this happened to me? I was married & a family “friend” raped me 30 yrs ago. EVERYTHING you describe happened to me!! I have been able to help so many women through the yrs understand what they didn’t ”deserve” ! Keep telling them sis~God bless you!
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MAM!! ask to all female to save herself by sharing yors invidents/probs as facing by yorself **
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I’m very sorry this happened to you Viviana Morrison but thank you for sharing your story! The shame put on survivors is a big part of the problem with rape culture.
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Chandra Mohan Sharma I want to understand your comment. Do you mean women should share their experiences of sexual assault instead of keeping it to themselves?
If so I agree, but not all women feel safe to share this due to the stigma put on rape survivors. We must change the mindset around sexual coercion and teach all men not to rape. The criminal justice system needs an overhaul too, with better protection and support for survivors.
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So sorry & happy you pointed this out to me. In the interest of conserving space & time I believe I omitted that I Counsel Addicts & do Marriage and Family Therapy. Seems like I am frequently in the position of sensing that rape may be part of an underlying issue. When this occures, I start to share my own experience and how my husband and I overcame it. I am either met with, ”oh! I’m so sorry that happened to you” or a flood of tears followed by THEIR experience. I’d LOVE to tell you that this has always worked but one woman 30+ years ago actually left my office & went home & hung herself because she believed she’d lost everything! With the help of a Therapist & a wonderful husband, I SOMEHOW found the Strength to go on & all these years later I’man still at it. SO many of the addicted women began their descent into their addiction after a rape incident. Many, when they can no longer afford their habits get into prostitution, which of course again begins a cycle of more rape and
beatings when they don’t ”produce” I pray this has brought more clarity to my posting. Thanks for taking the time to respond & God Bless.
Sent from BlueMail
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In my view basically giving lessons reg. Sexualty & about Similarty /abormality (creatvty of birthly) to the youngesrers sothat they may survive theor lives easy & frequently *
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Thanks for explaining your comment further Chandra Mohan Sharma
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Thank you for sharing your story Viviana Morrison. Take care!
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As U know that in young age,male attrect to female to male naturally , hence its most essential to them reg. How they behave to eachother meet & most responsiblities over their parents also to care & indtruct them with love not rigidly **
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Chandra Mohan Sharma Not all men are attracted to women. We agree that sex education should be part of general education, as stated in my post. 🙂 Thanks for your comments.
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Just because he’s drinking doesn’t mean he wants to get laid. Equality.
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Women are raped at such a high numbers it is epidemic. Women’s roles in this society do not match their power and responsibilities.
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Alcohol is not part of this discussion Rat Stew The image is part of a public information campaign, but my post is about the damage of sexual coercion.
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Viviana Morrison i respct you so match.♡
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Sachin Lad You clearly haven’t read this post; what a shame, as men have an important role to play in ending the impact of sexual coercion. Puritanical and sexist ideas about women’s sexuality have no bearing on this post.
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All the best.
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Kill yourself you piece of shit
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very nice
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Stanford Pines Your insights into this topic are staggering and while it is very brave indeed to write under a pseudonym and sprout sexist nonsense, as do millions of other men also writing under silly pseudonyms, your misplaced anger towards women is best worked out elsewhere. Good luck with your “high IQ level” as per your About page. The world will become less scary when you work out your gender troubles.
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